I Know You Got to Be a Good Girl Text

Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.

Nothing good can come of this. Photo by Achim Voss/Flickr.

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Throughout human history, oceans accept been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and dandy families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a tune that inflamed a centre and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.

On the other hand, that time you told that girl yous but started seeing that you would "catch a grenade" for her? Yous did that because of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."

"It's just, my mom. You know? And L.A. is and so hot in the summertime. And yeah, my mom." Photo via iStock.

That fourth dimension you held that boom box over your head outside your ex'southward firm? You did that because of a love song. And 50 hours of customs service later on, you're all the same non back together.

Love songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how bodily, real-life human relationships should work.

They're amazing. So astonishing. And likewise terrible.

Here are six dear songs that sound romantic but aren't, and ane vocal that doesn't audio romantic just totally is:

1. "God Just Knows," past The Embankment Boys

You can keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Become Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."

When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Simply Knows" is where information technology's at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A necktie-dye swirl of sound. A mural of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the dorsum of a surfboard.

Youth! Youth! Youth! Photo by Hulton Annal/Getty Images.

Here'southward why information technology sounds romantic:

I may not always love y'all

But long as there are stars above you lot

Yous never demand to uncertainty it

I'll make you so sure well-nigh it

God just knows what I'd exist without you

If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Merely Knows" on your iPod, you should really end and start over.

If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this betoken.

If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you lot're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it incorrect.

Hippies, probable on their way to a mud frolic. Photo by Colin Davey/Getty Images.

Information technology's a song that just feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a arctic, kelp-y vibe.

What could be wrong with that?

Here'due south why information technology's really really, really unromantic:

There'southward nothing incorrect with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-superlative notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their pilus as they fall asleep while y'all whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.

"Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his house, smoking a cigarette..." Photo by hatchettebookgroup.biz.

Merely there is such a thing as loving someone a skosh likewise much.

If you should ever leave me

Though life would withal go on believe me

The globe could show nothing to me

So what good would living exercise me?

Wait, I get it. Breakups suck. At that place'south no getting around that. But good God.

There'due south a huge difference between maxim: "Hey infant, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go." And saying: "Welp, you accepted that job in Seattle, so I'1000 just gonna chug a agglomeration of nightshade and call it a life."

Only that'southward pretty much the gist here. Which makes this line...

God but knows what I'd exist without you

...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, plainly, is: "I'd exist a corpse!"

Ah well. Nosotros had a good run. Photo via iStock.

That's not love. That'due south codependency (to put information technology mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a form of emotional abuse.

Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in whatsoever relationship — i that, past definition, might i day cease — is putting a lot of eggs in ane basket. Sure, God may only know what y'all'd be without her, just God probably as well hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies. Accept a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.

"Yes! Hell yes! What was her name again?" Photograph by Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.

One person cannot be anyone's be-all and terminate-all. It'southward also stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a affair that's gotta exist done earlier y'all tin do anything else.

No wonder she took that job in Seattle.

2. "Treasure," by Bruno Mars

Sure, it's a breathy rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've e'er heard. Simply, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and every bit tribute acts go, you could practise a lot worse than Bruno Mars.

Expect at that confront. That face! Photograph by Brothers Le/Flickr.

Here'south why the song sounds romantic:

Treasure, that is what you lot are

Honey, you're my gilded star

You know yous can make my wish come true

If you let me treasure you

If you let me treasure you

Laissez passer those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-course make-out political party and you'll probable get an instant price pass on the highway to tongue-boondocks (ew).

Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.

Pass them to a cop who pulls you lot over for running a stop sign, and they will think y'all're weird — merely probably even so make out with yous.

In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to brand out with America because of this song.

This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and you're on stage with Michelle Obama. Photograph by Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.

And I'm OK with that.

But, hither's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic as it seems:

Everything about "Treasure" is retro. Everything.

Including its attitudes about gender.

"Children, have I always told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo by Jacobsen/Getty Images.

Things start to get s right from the very beginning:

Requite me your, give me your, give me your attention, baby

I gotta tell you a footling something virtually yourself

Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a foreign adult female on the street nearly something she "doesn't know about herself."

What could it exist? Could information technology be that her jokes are funny? Could information technology be that she's got something in her teeth? Could information technology exist that her nonfiction volume about early on modern German language history is extremely detailed and informative?

"Thanks for pedagogy me all near Martin Luther's bible!" Photo by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Commons.

Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.

You're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady

Only you walk around here like you wanna exist someone else

Oh. It's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.

Give-and-take of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she'due south sexy. Fifty-fifty if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day then much that y'all, a complete stranger, need to shout information technology at her (even over a funky disco snare).

So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd beloved to be someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice. A good fashion to spend a 3-day weekend.

Certain, at that place'd be an adjustment menses... Photo by Eamonn Chiliad. McCormack/Getty Images.

And and so afterwards, of class, the narrator can't help himself:

Pretty girl, pretty daughter, pretty girl, y'all should be smiling

A girl similar you should never look so bluish.

He respects her so much, he's actually direct-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah." Which, you know, I judge everybody's got a affair.

Aye, in the globe of "Treasure," a healthy human relationship is an unending stream of a homo complimenting a strange woman and said woman existence so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex."

He then proceeds to talk to his potential lover like the world's creepiest pirate:

You are my treasure, y'all are my treasure

You are my treasure, yes, you, y'all, you, you are

You are my treasure, you are my treasure

You are my treasure, aye, y'all, you, you lot, you lot are

By this point, in his heed, she'south a literal affair. An object. Which is fitting.

I suppose it could exist worse, though. At to the lowest degree she's non simply any matter.

GIF from "The 2 Towers."

That's ... something, correct?

3. "Don't Think Twice, It'due south All Right," by Bob Dylan

For as long every bit humans take been dating each other, humans accept been breaking upward with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.

Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photo past William Lovelace/Getty Images.

Here'due south why it sounds romantic:

Well, it ain't no employ to sit down and wonder why, babe

Even you don't know by now

And information technology ain't no use to sit down and wonder why, infant

It'll never practice somehow

When your rooster crows at the break of dawn

Expect out your window, and I'll be gone

Y'all're the reason I'm a-traveling on

Merely don't remember twice, it'south all right.

Smash. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits state of affairs like whoa.

"Don't Retrieve Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months afterward her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to get out her depository financial institution-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open up a current of air chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's absurd dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse band over to his apartment to jam.

"What timbre are you looking for?" Photo past Sharon Ang/Pixabay.

Sure, it's well-nigh the stop of a relationship, only it sounds romantic. And at the end of the solar day, shouldn't that be enough?

Hither'due south why it'southward really sooooo messed upwards:

Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right manner to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion virtually what went wrong.

It's non me, Joan. It'southward y'all. 100% you lot. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.

In "Don't Think Twice," that discussion basically boils down to: "Information technology'southward your mistake."

Let'southward review the reasons the dude in "Don't Remember Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:

I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul

Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I simply take so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash!" And you're like, "Just baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be enough?" And she's similar, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the calendar week. All I need you to exercise is take out the trash." And you're like, "You're bumming me out. I'1000 gonna become play guitar." So she gets all mad! What did you do? Why is she trying to change y'all? UGH!

You could have washed better, only I don't mind

Yes. You do mind! Yous mind! You wrote a song well-nigh it, y'all passive-ambitious prick.

Yous just kinda wasted my precious time

Ah yes. Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit.

Yes, this was worth it. Photo by Beak Bradford/Flickr.

The minute you commencement breaking it down, the bulletin of "Don't Think Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister'south ex-fellow, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might exist in jail. Like your aunt'south current of air chime store, which would take closed forever agone had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.

"Yous kids desire a beer? No i's under 13, correct?" Photo via iStock.

Oh yeah, and the vocal'due south narrator also point-blank refers woman he's leaving equally:

A child, I'thousand told

That's correct. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-ambitious jerk — turns out, he's besides perhaps a pedophile.

Fifty-fifty if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not really a child — which in that location'south no indication it is, only OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than information technology does on her.

Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.

Which, I suppose, may be the point.

four. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," by John Denver

Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?

This guy. Photograph by Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Commons.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.

'Cause I'chiliad leavin' on a jet plane

To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a manner that'southward somehow however folksy and heartbreaking and singable by nine-year-olds at summertime camp. Not like shooting fish in a barrel to do!

Oh infant, I hate to go

Yous see — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner merely that much?

See ya! Photo by Altair78/Wikimedia Eatables.

Why indeed?

Here's why information technology's actually not that romantic at all:

All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the globe tin can only distract and then much from the fact that the song'southward chief character is well, kind of a jerkweed.

And in reality — surprise surprise! — information technology doesn't actually seem like he hates existence abroad all that much:

There's so many times I've let you downwardly

So many times I've played around

I tell you at present, they don't mean a thing

"Infant, I promise! All the movies I watched alone while you were dwelling nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun. Similar, I had a fantastic time. But residuum assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."

"As empty every bit this bed I just finished having sex activity with someone else in." Photo via iStock.

Yes, when you intermission it downward, "Leaving on a Jet Plane," is less of a passionate tribute to love overcoming distance and more the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "skillful" despite all evidence to the contrary.

And for all he claims to be broken up nigh having to part from his one and simply, the dude seems pretty excited about the flight. Oh, you're leaving on a jet plane, are y'all? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad you lot were forced to choke down every bit you sabbatum waiting to commence on your fun, mysterious run a risk?

"Life and then difficult @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photo by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Eatables.

He continues:

Ev'ry place I get, I'll think of you

Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for yous

Ah cool. He'll recall nigh her while strumming and making "my dear is fragile as the morning time dew" eyes at a waif-y grad pupil in the front row. That pretty much makes up for it all.

Then he demands:

And then osculation me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

After all the expose and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to exist a grade-A sleaze who tin't be trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To expect for him?

And here's the kicker:

When I come back, I'll bring your wedding band

Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.

"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.

Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, tuckered the family unit banking company account, and just been a general screwup and disappointment.

Just yes. This fourth dimension he says he'll bring dorsum a wedding ring.

I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks back.

v. "When a Human being Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge

When yous look up "soul" in the lexicon, the volume plays you a recording of this song.

Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo by Gene Pugh/Flickr.

Specifically, it plays you the very first line.

Hither'south why it sound very romantic:

When a man loves a adult female

Sure, y'all can write the lyrics down, but it doesn't fifty-fifty come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The delicious, succulent hurting-belting:

WHEN A Human LOVES A WOMAN

Closer ... but still no.

WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!

Yeah! Sing it, Percy Sledge!

It'southward an elemental lyric.

It's a heart-shattering lyric.

It'southward a lyric that demands you put your dorsum into it.

It's perfection.

Every bit long as you don't keep listening.

Here'southward why the song is actually pretty horrifying:

From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.

Which raises the question: What happens when said human loves said woman?

He'd surrender all his comforts

And sleep out in the pelting

If she said that's the way

It ought to exist.

Whoa! OK. No. Dorsum upwardly. A human being, no matter how devoted, no thing how selfless, no affair how in love, needs shelter. Otherwise, a human being volition die of exposure and hypothermia.

Plough his back on his all-time friend if he put her down.

No! Jeez. No. A man can't put up with that kind of isolating beliefs. A man needs friends! In one case a man's whole support system erodes out from under him, a man will be bitter, ungrounded, and lonely. And a man's mental health volition deteriorate.

I gave you everything I have

Tryin' to concur on to your heartless love

Babe, please don't treat me bad.

This is not what happens "when a homo loves a woman." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative woman. An abusive woman. A woman who, in truth, simply loves a woman. Herself.

"It's Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.

And that's not healthy.

Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're hither for you lot.

(Side note: Lest it go implied, at that place is way more than one way for a human being to dearest a woman. Perchance they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the nose. Perchance they slumber in separate bedrooms. Maybe they apparel up in large, plush cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a homo loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a adult female. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)

Regardless of the depth of commitment, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no i-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the female parent of invention. There'southward more than i fashion to pare a cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

It doesn't affair if it's the correct metaphor, as long as it'south a metaphor. Photo past Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.

Point being: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And delight, seek aid! You can do this! And if you lot ever discover yourself in a similar state of affairs, delight requite these people a call.

6. "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," Eye

Honestly, Heart could sing a listing of the almost popular AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/World's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bawl my optics out in the artillery of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.

This song is perfect. You should always be listening to it. If you're not listening to it now, smack yourself in the confront and Google it. It's just that important.

I am singing the telephone book. You are weeping like a tiny infant. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.

And then much passion. So much pain. So much hair.

Here's why it sounds romantic:

Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Eye sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Globe: picking up an unnervingly bonny man for ane dark of mind-blowing sex and then releasing him back into the wild to bone — simply never quite as compellingly ever again.

They sing:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight

Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat

And then I pulled upwards aslope and I offered him a ride

He accustomed with a smile so we drove for a while

I don't accept to get on considering you know what happens side by side, and it'south awesome.

"I merely sit in this cabin. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.

Now, here'due south why this song is not romantic at all:

The relationship in "All I Wanna Do" seems too good to be true. And it is. Considering it'southward not an equally loving ,or fifty-fifty as lusty, pairing at all.

Information technology's a...

It's a...

Well. Yous know what it is:

Proficient at recognizing no-win situations and succulent with lemon?! Photo by Pikawil/Flickr.

For a while, things are humming forth merely fine, like whatever wholesome, illicit, bearding affair should:

I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain

Fate, tell me it's right, is this love at beginning sight?

Certain, many of us might hesitate to pick up a foreign leather-jacket-clad homo standing on the side of the road for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling well-nigh this guy, and sometimes, y'all gotta go with your gut.

I can respect that.

Nosotros made magic that night

He did everything right

Nifty! Seems like information technology was a proficient decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off large time.

But then, without alert, the song starts to audio less similar an all-time great romance and more like a story men'southward rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:

I told him "I am the blossom, yous are the seed

We walked in the garden, we planted a tree

Don't try to find me, please don't yous dare

Just live in my memory, you'll always be there"

I'm not a poet. Symbolic language ofttimes eludes me. But unless "bloom," "seed," "garden," and "tree," suddenly mean wildly unlike things in the context of man reproduction than they have since sex activity was first invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, non-mutually-consensual pregnancy!

HELLO! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Eatables.

Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. Y'all might be tempted to call back, "Maybe Middle meant something else by that."

To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:

Then it happened one day

Nosotros came circular the same fashion

You can imagine his surprise

When he saw his own optics

There are 2 possibilities here.

One: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York City subway ad from nine years ago:

Photo by eyedonation.org.

Or two: She totally bamboozled a dude into whipping up a babe on the sly.

I said, "Please, delight understand

Ah, sure. Yeah. No worries.

I'thou in honey with another man

Absurd, so this all makes sense and is in no way the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked not one but 2 lives.

And what he couldn't give me, oh, no

Was the i petty thing that you lot can"

A Man LIFE! A Existent SENTIENT HUMAN LIFE THAT IS Non INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!

The best you tin say about that is that it's not technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should accept been responsible for his own birth control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .

But ... it'southward non cute. It's non romantic (fifty-fifty the Wilson sisters themselves agree).

And at the end of the day, the shadiest grapheme in this vocal is somehow not the rain-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the nighttime.

Which... is maxim something.

Only in that location is a love vocal that is truly, madly, deeply perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.

A song that does everything right.

A song that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership congenital to terminal.

A vocal that tin can double as a manual for the ideal human being romantic relationship.

And that song is...

"Candy Shop," past 50 Cent, featuring Olivia

Here's why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:

50 Cent (Fifty) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

Every bit catchy equally "Processed Shop" is, every bit fun information technology is to dance to, and as cathartic as information technology can be to scream in the center of a crowded fraternity house at 2 a.one thousand., at that place'southward no getting around the fact that the song begins similar this:

I'll have you to the processed store

I'll let you lick the lollipop

I'll post that once again, in case you missed some of the dash:

I'll take you to the candy store

I'll allow y'all lick the lollipop

Way to take 1 for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!

At first glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody'southward idea of a classic love song.

The lyrics are ... unusually frontwards. The beat out is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily by in "Homeland."

OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."

Information technology doesn't get played much anymore. When it does resurface, it feels ... kinda dated. Similar watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" on your new Xbox 360.

It's non a vocal you'd put on a mixtape for your crush. It's not a song yous'd play for your spouse when the kids are at home with the babysitter and you've got nine hours to tear upwardly the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It'south certainly non a song you lot'd include on the video photograph montage you fabricated for your grandparents' silverish anniversary.

It's just not.

But it should exist.

And then here it is. Here'southward why "Candy Store" by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:

You wanna back that affair upwards or should I push up on information technology? Photo by ionasnicolae/Pixabay.

The bass pulsate hits. The MIDI violins whine. The singer starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. It'south merely been xx seconds, and you lot're already getting prepare to hang information technology up with "Candy Shop."

But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a phenomenon occurs — in the form of a female vocalism joining the rail, cutting through the din like a clarion call.

She sings:

I'll take you to the candy shop (yeah)

Boy, i taste of what I got (uh-huh)

I'll accept you spendin' all you got (come on)

Go along going 'til you hit the spot, whoa

Information technology's mutual! It's common! They're performing oral sex on each other!

Band the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!

Go, cunnilingus doves, get! Photo past liz westward/Flickr.

l Cent himself may not be the world'due south greatest partner — for case, according to one of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.

But the narrator of "Candy Shop"? He gets it:

You could have it your way, how practice yous desire it?

Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God Only Knows ("I'm going to invest my unabridged sense of cocky-worth in y'all!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'thousand going to treat you lot like a chest full of gilded doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You," ("I'k going to flim-flam you into knocking me up!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.

Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about l,000 trillion points.

And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Dorsum of the rental? The beach? The park?

It's whatever you're into

'Cause consent is sexy!

I own't finished teaching you 'bout how sprung I got ya

The narrator of "Processed Shop" is certainly ... assertive about his desires.

Merely here's the cardinal matter: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She's clearly into it. And we know this because she says then.

The lines of consent in "Processed Store" are brilliant red, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly pasty club flooring.

Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo by Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.

Girl what nosotros do ...

And where we practice ...

The things we exercise ...

Are simply between me and you lot

No matter how nasty they freak, it volition be intimate. It volition be private. At that place will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).

If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho

Sexual compatibility is cardinal to the survival of whatever relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very possibly in the case of "Processed Shop") minutes long.

She may have a high sexual activity drive, merely dude is graciously offer to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids only might go the distance after all.

And at the end of the day, what is a relationship only 2 nymphos, sharing health insurance?

Thank you, Obamacare! Photo past Wonderlane/Flickr.

It'south like information technology's a race who could get undressed quicker

Again, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally neat time.

I touch the correct spot at the right fourth dimension

Of course, information technology wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hitting without a spot of random humbug, but if we're to take him at his give-and-take, "Candy Shop" guy is at to the lowest degree as proficient at "doing everything correct" as the bearding hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Make Dear to You lot" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.

The "Processed Shop" guy is a keeper. Considering he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He'southward a good partner.

"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It'southward muddy. It'south not your grandmother's beloved vocal.

But when you lot strip away the swagger, the back beat, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the end of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the stop of the day, isn't that what a good for you relationship is all about?

Aye.

Uh-huh.

Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.

So seductive.

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Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is

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